July Book Reviews

No theme for July but definitely weighted towards more non-fiction, which is good news for me; bad for you. With every bit of knowledge earned, I grow more powerful!

In seriousness though, I recommend all of these books, but some more than others.

Doing Good Better by William MacAskill [3/5 stars]


Interesting thesis with a supposed “counter-intuitive” element to it. To me, it was logical and plausible, especially considering his clear explanations. Rather than aimlessly trying to be altruistic, the purpose of the book is to get people to be more thoughtful and deliberate with their actions without disadvantaging one too much.

His desire to skirt past assumptions about being utilitarian were amusing but didn’t do so well. Especially with the amount of people who get left out by the decision-making process. Read it and see for yourself. At the very least, this book will aim to make us take charity very seriously like decisions that affect us directly like moving city or getting a new job. Whether you believe in effective altruism is up to. I recommend that you read it and make up your own mind. Even if you’re not convinced, there’s some worthwhile knowledge there.

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro [3/5 stars]


This book has been on my to-read shelf for a number of years so I was pleased to see that I could get it from my library. I must say, though, it was quite disappointing. The book’s topic was interesting but it wasn’t told very well at all. What should have been moving only elicited a shrug from me and an idle wondering of “what next?”

It’s a shame because there are some really good parts but was mired by too many dull, reflexive recollections of more mundane aspects of school life.

Self by Barry Dainton [4/5 stars]


We round this month of with some philosophy! As a philosophy grad I’m surprised at how little philosophy I’ve read so a slim book such as this should be a nice way to re-enter a scene I put aside for other subject areas.

Dainton states arguments in metaphysics and philosophy of mind in lucid, unpretentious prose. As I understand it, it’s part of a series of philosophy books for breezy explorations of topics of interest. If the aim of the book was to examine some aspects of philosophy of mind and metaphysics such as existence over time, and the problems of consciousness then it succeeds. It’s no textbook and doesn’t pretend to be but it also isn’t very nuanced. It does cover a lot but not deeply which is a shame given what I thought I would be getting. I suppose it’s my thinking that’s at fault.

Ah well, Dainton’s own theory of C-continuity for his additions to the problem of consciousness was interesting to follow.

What this reminds me of is that I need to start thinking about my future philosophical reading: this was aimed at someone with less philosophical knowledge which, again, is fine but not what I’m after.

That’ll do. This month I’ve begun to read comic books—sorry, graphic novels— in earnest. You’ll have to see what they are but I’m surprised this didn’t happen sooner. More on that next month.

23 Years and Counting

I have an uneasy relationship with self-improvement. One day I want to give it the kind of cathartic treatment it deserves but I’m busy and it’s too early into this to get too vulnerable, I think. We’ll get there.

Today is my 23rd birthday.

Birthdays after 18 are sort of lacklustre so as the years stretch on I become less enthused when my birthday comes around. With the end of puberty I’ve become a lot more diffusive with my ego so I see my birthday as a bigger fuss than everyone else I know does; my friends have repeatedly made a bigger deal of my birthday than I have. I suppose I need it if this is my reaction. I’d much rather they did than didn’t—I’m thankful for that much, at the very least. If they’re enjoying themselves, I guess I am too.

This year especially, I think because I’m still quite behind in my larger ambitions, I’m not feeling up to celebrating or doing anything fun, feeling like I’m “slacking” off.

Anyway, instead of a treatise of my relationship to birthdays, I’m going to do my second follow up to the goals I set on New Year’s, see how the goal-setting thing is going. The good thing about birthdays is that they can sometimes be a good catalyst for change for self-improvement, starting from reflection of lessons learned. I’m not going to do a “23 things I’ve learnt in 23 years” because I don’t want to. Instead I’ll pick three.

First, being unemployed has given me a lot of space to think about who I am and my relationship to the world. Old relationships have fallen away and have not been replaced with newer ones. I don’t think I should think in terms of replacement, but beyond my general malaise, there’s a certain tenacity that I’ve been trying to mitigate by rapidly producing. I’m not certain if it’s healthy. Again, post later down the line. Preemptively thankful for your continued interest.

I haven’t learnt this one so much as I’ve had to keep reminding myself of this: failure happens constantly, and that’s okay, necessary sometimes. It’s what you do next after failure that defines you as a person. Repeated failures take steadily more decisive blows to one’s self-esteem so that message of positivity gets eroded. It’s good to be cognisant of that when the road gets tough, though.

Lastly, the inspiration for creativity will almost never come. I have to Make Good Art, rain or shine, especially rain which is most of the way.

Okay, let’s look at the road travelled, shall we?

This will be the penultimate one of these before December to see how I’ve done re: my goals.

  1. I want to create more. I have been playing guitar a bit more, drawing a little bit too. Still not to an adequate standard that fit my specific goals for these skills but I’m working on restructuring my days and life. A bit more structure is up ahead and so appropriate planning of my days will need to occur*.We’re in the midst of Camp NaNo. I’ll confess to slacking off and forgetting a tonne so I’m very behind. If I’m to reach my goal of 150k, I’m gonna have to step it up in the ensuing months. Ambition is only as good as your ability to follow through on it. Back up tough talk with action. I might need something similar for my other mediums.
  2. I want a job. In progress still, one year on. Hopefully come year’s end I can scratch this one firmly off the list. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t bothering me but life’s unfair and there’s not much else I can do; no use moping, I just gotta keep plowing ahead. To quote Pops from Luke Cage: “Forward always, never backward.”
  3. I want to read more non-fiction. I think I need a quantifiable goal. Let’s say at least five more before year’s end. Perfectly doable. Either that or more curated content. What sort of non-fiction do I want to be reading? Should I read more difficult stuff? A goal I’m considering for next year is to assess the books I’ve read in 2017 and look about deepening my understanding. Bonus brownie points for the same topic in the corresponding month of 2018 that I first read in 2017. [Example: I read I Contain Multitudes last month so I’ll give myself a firm pat on the back if I deepen my knowledge of microbiology in June 2018**.]
  4. I want to finish Infinite Jest. In progress. Gonna get back to it in earnest come August.

No update on that mystery Big Thing. I’m doubting its existence a bit but it’s coming. I’m starting to think it’s wishful thinking at this point.

This’ll do for now. New content on its way. Look at for it.

Have a lovely day!

Currently reading: Self by Barry Dainton (full thoughts on this hopefully early next month!)

Currently listening to: Are We There by Sharon Van Etten. Recommending in the wake of something serious and difficult to describe. One of those perfect sound for the perfect time albums. Not for the faint-hearted.

*Again, a nuanced approach of ambition/improvement/goals is definitely needed soon but it’s a bit of a double-edged sword: on the one side, it leads to more exciting experiences, but on the other there’s an almost consistent restlessness.

**the idea of curating my future self’s reading is interesting. I’m excited to see what I am like in the future, where I’ll be. Spoiler alert: I suspect I’ll be living in a new city with *gasp* a job.


June Book Reviews

I’ve found very gentle themes that have drifted across my reading habits. This is purely accidental but I find it amusing. June’s reading has taken me away from the more sprawling studies into more intimate settings. I lead with a new found favourite.

I Contain Multitudes by Ed Yong [5/5 stars]


Reading a five star book for me has been a bit like a four leaf clover. I also have a weird paradox: I want to find favourites pretty readily but also their scarcity makes them precious, a book class of their own.

I Contain Multitudes in short: the world as we know it is dependant on in a large part to that which we cannot even see. Our health, behaviour and the ability to do anything is down to a healthy relationship with the trillions of microbes that live within us—more than the amount of stars in the galaxy!

In the book we get a look at microbes in nature, like in a bobtail squid there are certain microbes which allow them to glow and protect them from predators.

Eye-opening is an underwhelming adjective to describe this book. It’ll have to do, unfortunately. I left this book with a new perspective of the complexity and wonder of the world. Highly recommended!

Parade by Shuichi Yoshida [4/5 stars]


Ever read a book at the perfect time in your life? Like the stars aligned and produced a bit of content that fitted your exact mood? This is what Parade was for me. Again, I was gripped by the melancholia of post-graduation, a long shadow of uncertainty stretching far into the distance.

It follows five Japanese under 30s in various states of discomfort, stuck in certain moments and uncertain how to go forwards. Basically: same. If I were to describe this book, I would say it’s about nothing, not even growing up per se which might sound like a not very interesting overview. For me, though, it’s part of its appeal: it feels like we’re taking a slice out of these characters’ lives, bearing temporary witness to a space of time that they all occupy until the final point.

Anger and violence are sleeper themes in this also. I read it in a day so it felt a bit more intense that it might have been if I paced myself. Good reading.

Swann’s Way by Marcel Proust (À la recherche du temps perdu #1) [4/5 stars]


I did it! I have finished volume one of Proust’s epic. Like the sun that crests an autumn horizon, gently bathing that once frigid landscape with its pale light that unfurls like the banners of your country’s army, near those frozen fields by old Combray that are awakened to the prospect of a new dawn, the story unfolds in a gorgeous, but slow manner, such as in the case of that old gentleman Swann, that storied champion with whom we spend an excellent period exploring the tragedies of love and jealousy, those visceral emotions that can make a man as much as they destroy him, a consuming battalion of emotions not unlike the effects of illness, taking us completely whole without chance of rebellion or clarity, which in our fevered grip we hold onto some notion of self as it has changed from memory of a time we have lost, namely such as a time when mind and body were not overwhelmed with illness, not racked or distorted but completely whole.

Reading this book you will find yourself reading a lot of sentences like this. While isolated it might even be quite endearing, but it made  for slow reading, especially to begin with; more than once I wrestled with the notion of abandoning it. But I didn’t. And, being on the other side, I did enjoy it but I must say “overwritten” is a word that comes to mind. Especially when it comes to simpler ideas. In exploring the nuances of emotions, Proust has no rival, and he writes a mean description too. But it poses a problem when you lose the point of the sentence after the 20th comma. I wonder how much is down to the translator. I may never know. What you do have though is something in the real flourishes, a piece of literature deserving of its esteem. I’ll check back in but not too quickly.

How We Can Master Our Habits: The Diamond Age of Content (Part II)


Nasty Habits

For part 1, go here.

There’s an anecdote that David Foster Wallace recounted in an interview that keeps playing on my mind*. He talked about the fact that he didn’t own a TV because of the great anxiety it brought him; he would spend hours in front of it, mercilessly flicking through hundreds of channels, never actually watching anything, continuing to look for something “better” (without any real sense of what that meant) instead just watching one show [skip to 42:43 if you’re on a tablet/mobile device].

This example resonated with me because perhaps one of my worst habits is spending copious hours idling on the internet. Idling being key here. When there’s no notification activity going on my various social media accounts or email I’m filled with an almost anxious malaise, flitting aimlessly between my various accounts and scrolling, searching for a good feeling. The funny thing is that this rarely happens; I can swallow hours of time doing this to little effect. Part of this, I think is to make up for something. You know, like resisting that forever empty?

A background motivation is that I’m chasing that rush you get whenever you see all the likes pouring in. I don’t necessitate it but I do enjoy the validation. And without it, there’s that emptiness. When I flit about, I don’t get edified but neither do I feel terrible. Not only that, I use this method to “decompress” when I’ve been out, for example. It’s not just phone scrolling, TV can fall under this, too. I often unwind with it but not with moderation, neglecting more productive desires.

If I can figure out why it gets to this point perhaps I can end up doing the things I get upset not doing (including sleep!). I want to write my novel, these essays, go for a walk but I’m just glued to the screens. It’s a perverse Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) in overdrive.

This is partly due to the hook of modern entertainment is that it has the ability to tell more nuanced stories that explore a wide range of topics. And, with technological advancements, storytelling is at its most presentable. It’s very easy to immerse ourselves.

This kind of behaviour becomes ingrained. Had a bad day? I’ll watch some TV to make myself feel better. Didn’t get that job you were excited about? Fire Emblem’s looking enticing. Let’s do that instead of reading or writing or applying for more jobs.

Games like Uncharted 4 and The Witcher 3 can tell visually pleasing stories with an emotionality that rivals cinema and television. The culture and developers always had this desire to come about, but now we have the actual means to tell these kinds of stories because our technology has caught up with our vision.

I’m not saying that everyone should write a book or learn violin. Or even that unwinding in such a way is necessarily a bad thing—or at all!”Taking your mind off things” sometimes is necessary to be a functional and rounded person, I think. And entertainment can provide that brief respite. But surely entertainment cuts into productivity.

It’s just fascinating how we spend our time, when habits drift away from pure decompression and start bleeding into other aspects of our lives.

And the internet is fun because it’s brought me a lot of connectivity with friends close and far afield, as well as being a place for learning. The method that I researched and am sharing this essay, for example, can only exist because of the internet. Be that as it may, though, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t cause problems. We have options for media, that just begs us to click and Consume. Remember the tabbing issue? The Diamond Age is here.

A FE world map theme: Why get bogged down with the application process if there’s a 3DS game with beautiful music like this?

I always feel like I need to occupy my time in some way. I can’t sit with my thoughts, and have a quiet moment and hear the wind sing unless I’m doing something else. When there’s any degree of loading, like Netflix is booting up on my home console or on my TV, I’ll reach for my phone or, if I’m feeling “intellectual”, my book. It’s not long enough to do anything but I keep doing it anyway.

My suspicion is that we have so much available to us that our minimum threshold of stimulation has been greatly raised and so we need to keep doing something. In other words, the abundance of Stuff makes us aware of how limited our time is. So to make sure we get as much as possible from our 100 blocks per day to spend we need to be doing Something. We know implicitly that we can’t get through everything we want to but boy can we try.

Maybe the motivations don’t match up with my suspicions, but behaviour is certainly shifting more towards pluralism: according to a study done by Deloitte for American consumers of television, a whopping 90% of watchers reported doing something else when watching TV. The most common activity is surfing the internet (32%), followed by email, then texting (both 28%)—some groups doing up to three tasks at once.

And get this: the multitasking isn’t even about the show itself. Any of the generational groups studied (14 years and older) reported less than 30% of the time the multitasking they were doing was related to the actual show they were watching.

When I was reading this study I was sceptical. But then I reflected that it’s at least true for me. I tend to start with a search that relates to what I’m watching, but then it dovetails into a series of searches and clicks and then I’m on Facebook again and whoops it’s been twenty minutes without paying attention …

What I’m trying to say is that I’ve let bad habits seep into my daily life too readily. Although it feels like more of an inevitability, something beyond my choosing. And in a way, that’s correct. But it’s not a good feeling and I want to help assuage it by doing something about it. I’ll explain soon this supposed “correctness” but we have to zoom out a bit first and get a better feel of habits so that change can occur.

The Power of Habit

In my research about habits, one guy kept coming up: Charles Duhigg. He authored a book called The Power of Habit which will inevitably explore this topic in more detail. He indicates that up to 45% of what we do is habit, not decision-making.

Habits can be broken up into three constituent parts, also known as a “habit loop”. Identifying these aspects will help in changing them:

1.) Cue: the trigger for the behaviour to unfold.

2.) Routine: the automatic actions—the habits themselves

3.) Reward: This is what ensures the habit is encoded in neurology; there’s something to be gained from this action. It’s like our brain’s way of saying: “This is good. Remember this for next time.”

So to overwrite a habit, the best way, Duhigg argues, is to target the cue** and the reward.

The cue usually relies on one of five categories:

1.) The time of day.

2.) A certain place.

3.) The presence of others.

4.) An emotional state.

5.) Behaviour that is ritualised.

To get a habit broken, a good thing to do is to write down these five categories and figure out the cue. This will reveal the reward (or the craving). Rewards are pretty complex, though, so part of the challenge will be to locate a specific one.

Let’s take my TV viewing as one example. The time of day varies but it’s usually

1.) day time;

2.) in my room;

3.) without anyone else;

4.) with some distress and dissatisfaction with my life situation;

5.) and I do this at roughly consistent times of the day [usually in the early afternoon until evening where my activities become more computer based].

When it comes to how habits are formed, behaviour and routine are the main focus typically, but we should look at the reward to get the why. Why do I want to watch the TV? Because it’s entertaining. That’s a prima facie (on the surface) good reason for a reward. But that might not necessarily be the case. The TV could actually be the distraction from something: boredom? Close, but probably not enough.

The reality is much closer to feelings of unaccomplishment and, to not go down the rabbit hole of negativity, I distract myself. For me, I think TV is a stand-in: it could be any sort of media that is stimulating enough like music, games, writing a stream of tweets maybe two people read ever—whatever it is. The reward is I don’t have to deal with that shit in the moments that I’m doing those activities. At least that’s a little bit the case because they’re not assuaged, but we’ll return to that.

I mentioned this briefly before but the reason habits are so hard to break is that they don’t really feel like thought. This is what I referred to when I said “correctness” in thinking that this sort of behaviour is inevitable in some capacity. Now there’s two ways this can get cashed out.

The first way is when you don’t realise that you do something in a certain way. Take brushing your teeth. It’s apparently the case that you brush your teeth in the same way every time you brush them. If you start from the top then go to the bottom set, for example, you won’t even realise that this is so unless you actively start thinking about it. This is a good thing. It’s so we don’t have to think about every such action whenever we want to do it. It’s a neurological shortcut of sorts.

The second way is a far more stressful experience. It’s a realisation that this activity is not good but you do it anyway because not doing it is harder than doing it. You’re sat watching hours of Daredevil instead of revising for exams, for example, but keep going despite your imminent deadline. When I think of breaking habits, it’s this latter version. You slip into this state like a glove to distract yourself but of course the problem lingers, maybe intensifies. Why does this happen?

The basal ganglia is one of the oldest structures in the brain and is annoyingly and amazingly exempt from the process of what we call “thinking”, which is what Duhigg is getting at. It’s almost as if it’s run on autopilot. It’s the part of the brain that is linked to a lot of things like voluntary motor skills, procedural learning, and of course routine behaviours or “habits” like moving your eyes, cognition, and emotion. Its primary function is to make sure we can do voluntary actions more smoothly. Habit-formation is pretty strongly embedded into our lives and is necessary for us to function as we do.


The basal ganglia and associated parts. In terms of habits, the basal ganglia can be contrasted with the cerebral cortex which is associated more with what we understand to be “thought” and awareness (consciousness anyone?)

Duhigg uses the example of complete amnesiacs who remember nothing, but are still able to form habits like everyone else. The “lack of” thought is why habits are so hard to overwrite. Think about walking or blinking. Providing that one is able, these are automatic things that we do and is part of our reality. Have you ever thought about changing your walk or thought about blinking? That’s the moment when those automatic things start feeling very, very weird. That’s because we don’t think about them in normal circumstances. I imagine it would be stressful to think about blinking while doing something else. Our brains are designed to make shortcuts so we can function and do other things like receive new information.

A quick note before we continue: I’m using “overwrite” here in lieu of “breaking” or “getting rid of” habits because I feel like overwriting is a more accurate picture of what’s happening when we change our behaviour. We’re encoding new activities that will be part of our passive everyday lives—so normal we won’t have to think about it. The elimination of one habit only allows space for a different—in our case better—habit to take its place.

Okay, let’s quickly take stock. There are three parts to a habit: cue, routine, reward. To overwrite a habit, you’ll need to look at the cue in depth and figure out, from the five categories above, how it came about and what the reward is. If you can do this, the benefits can bleed into many aspects of your life.

A keystone habit, for example, can cause a chain reaction that affects other habits. A common one (almost to the point of cliché) is exercise. Let’s say you spent a lot of time on the computer/phone/tablet/delete-as-necessary-or-until-I-stop-adding-needless-bits-of-this-forward-slash-list-and-want-to-do-that-less. You might consider going for a thirty minute run. As a result, you feel more awake and more productive, which in turn leads to less procrastination in general (it works, annoyingly). This is an example of a keystone habit. Identifying one of these might help in restructuring your relationship to a nebula of habits that you want to change, in rewriting your neurological code.

Next Steps

In psychology, there’s a term called “quantum changers” which refers to someone who is very specific about habits and their relationship with them, usually changing something in a pretty dramatic way, as the name implies. My Dad, for example, lost a lot of weight for his health in what seemed like all of a sudden. He did this through reshaping his diet alongside the exercise he did. What he and many other quantum changers have tapped into is the structure of habits. Once you understand that, it’s much easier to change things.

And it needn’t be big things, either. Incremental adjustments, in fact, are the things that change you; they are parts of a larger goal. The end result comes about because of these small steps. Remember stretch goals and a specific plan to get there? Well shit, we’ve come full circle.

In fact, not only is it a more realistic way of looking at habits, it’s probably the best. This is why you target the reward. The reward is the craving, a desire to be sated. The habit is just filling in the gaps, one way of many in order to achieve the same thing. It should stand to reason therefore that you can overwrite it by getting the same reward through a different habit.

And you need to actually do it. This sounds trite but how many times have you said that today’s the day you’re going to read 100 pages, write 1000 words, do the seminar reading, go for a run, etc. and end up not even starting? It’s upsetting isn’t it? Being in the right frame of mind is only a tiny fraction of it, but it is along the right lines. My research has revealed a lot of things and while intentions aren’t the be all and end all, they are an important stepping stone to overwriting habits.

In fact, it’s been shown that the more you believe you can, the more you can actually change it. Take Alcoholics Anonymous, a support group to overwrite the habits of alcohol with something like work. The reason it works is not because of its scientific basis (the famous “Twelve Steps” were created not from psychological expertise but a combination of spirituality and philosophy), but because it operates as a machine for habit change through the simple method of looking to others for support. And not necessarily in the “Friend, help me for I have lost my way” sense. No, it’s more like “That dickhead is well-adjusted? Him?! Well if he can, I sure as shit can too.” The effect of watching others to help us change is astonishing.

Other Strategies

Here are three principles which will help in cultivating positive habits:

1.) Derail existing habits: where you make space to act on new intentions (see my point about overwriting, not destruction? It’s a replacement, homie.)

Moving city, for example, is a great way of doing this. Part of the call to move city must be tapping into the notion that a new place = change of existing habits.

Of course, this is an extreme reaction. Nobody my age*** has the kind of capital to all of a sudden move city, unless there’s a specific reason (i.e. university, a job or family.) On the more affordable end of things, going on holiday can actually help in rewriting habits. The cues (and as result rewards) are going to be different because of not only the setting but the context of them as well. It’s a good chance to change the habit. You’re not thinking in terms of your daily routine, but away from that all.

Smaller changes go a long way too, though. Let’s take phone use. Suppose your goal is to reduce how much your phone, try reducing your access. Some people lock themselves out of their phones. There are apps that do this sort of thing if you think that will help. I’ve found that having a lock code (that I have access to!) diminishes my access purely for the fact that I can’t as easily get to my phone. This means that I will only reach for it if I need it for certain purposes. That’s a tiny act but has put me on the right track.

2.) Repetition is key: It takes time to master but take heart because any goal can be subdivided again, stretch goals and specific plans. If you can do something for a little bit of the intended goal, over a longer period of time you will achieve it. Again, sounds simplistic, but the size of a goal is often enough to detract real effort.

The best way that I trained my thinking in this aspect is by doing NaNoWriMo which is when people challenge themselves to complete 50,000 words in a month, usually November****. The way forward is seeing the goal is over 30 days and 50,000 divided by 30 equals 1667 words (rounded up), the daily word count. Seen in this way, it’s still challenging but much more manageable. The task itself hasn’t changed, your thinking towards it has. The notion of writing daily, especially towards such a large goal, is quite daunting but once you get into it the actual process becomes more manageable.

NaNo needn’t be the only way you can change your thinking. There are other practical means with which you can apply this conceptual framework. Let’s say your room needs tidying and one of the tasks is to pick up the pile of clothes. The prospect of tidying the whole room is daunting: you haven’t tidied in months and there’s a lot of junk on the floor. But if you set yourself the task of dealing with one pile at a time, then the notion of the whole room being tidied feels a lot more realistic.

3.) Have stable context cues to trigger a pattern: a new cue following an existing one helps. Specific contexts attached to others help overwrite bad habits. Reading during breakfast/around it—either 10 minutes before or 10 minutes afterwards—for example will help in adding more reading into your life because it’s attached to the meal of breakfast.

The initial cue is necessary to create subsequent ones. This is like keystone habits.

Concluding Thoughts

If you can master your habits they won’t destroy you/consume all of your time. Some people go to extremes, like taking social media diets. Things like that must have something to counterbalance what they’re dieting. So the assumption is that they go on these diets to invest more time into things that social media is eating into, which tends to be the case. These aren’t the only way in which you deal with hangups, nor do I think they are necessarily the best. But if it works, it works.

For me, it seems I’m escaping in some capacity because I’m in a state that I dislike and I have to learn to be okay with that. I suppose it comes with life: there are bits of it which will be disappointing and painful but that comes with. If I can’t look at that in the face then I need to address why, especially if I just end up in a loop of Copious Entertainment instead of something productive. (Didn’t I say I want to draw more this year?)

Also, when I am “decompressing” with my phone, I’m endeavouring to reconsider that and just decompressing without any stimuli, just sit (or lay) with my thoughts for as long as needed.

To sum up: we learnt about habits, how they form, why they can become ingrained in our psychology and what to do about them. Pop culture is the most alluring its been ever—we’re in the midst of the Diamond Age—and establishing complex mental frameworks to resist passivity is going to be paramount, especially since this quality will only increase. With better presentation for entertainment, IMAX and 4k, for example, we’re constantly enhancing the experience of entertainment. We need to say no every once in a while, sit in silence and just hear the wind sing.

What about you: do you have any habits that you need to correct?

*I know I know I know I know, another dude talking about David Foster Wallace. But that particular anecdote freaked me the fuck out and will stay with me for a long time to come.

**I kept writing “the Cure” instead of cue. I feel a new habit forming.

***Dare I say: MILLENNIAL?

****How many times have I written this is in cover letters in the past year I wonder? I’ve lost count.


May Reviews

Let’s have a look at the books I read in May, shall we?

The Mysteries of Pittsburgh by Michael Chabon [3.5/5 stars]


Ah, the misadventures of youth! Fresh out of university and so full of energy, optimism and passion.

I couldn’t help but see some of myself in Art Bechstein, the narrator of Mysteries. Just out of university with the promise of a whole world out there crammed with love, sex, adventure. It’s so 80s. But in a good way (it was published in the 80s so it’s earnest in its energy). I need more optimism in my life. The optimism isn’t naïve, but it is an identifiable young sort.

The book explores sexuality and love in very honest, often sensitive, ways. Chabon also has a heck of an ear for dialogue, which made the conversations a breeze to follow. The characters carried with them the scent of uncertainty and identity-formation that I see with me and my social groups—people in their twenties still trying to figure it all out. I read this at the perfect time.

This being said, I wish Chabon would slow down a little. It’s pacy and that’s a boon, but some of the more ponderous and emotional moments weren’t treated with a carefulness they deserved before we’re racing off to the next thing.

That being said, this is still an accessible and fun read with good writing, characters, and grounded feeling to it. Would’ve made a good film (not the 2009 one–we’ll quietly ignore that).

The Sixth Extinction by Elizabeth Kolbert [4/5 stars]


For a book with such a gloomy title, this read was a far more pleasant than it could have been.

Before we get into it, though, I should explain: in the history of animals, there have been five extinction events where all life was nearly wiped out. With the way certain flora and fauna are dying out, we may be heading to our next one. This time a man-made extinction, the first animals have had an active role in such an event.

Sound heavy? Well good because IT’S ALL OUR FAULT … except, it is and it isn’t. Global warming, sure. For example, there are fungi-related deaths because spores from one country travel across the ocean to other countries because they’ve dispersed onto boats and planes and the like, with the new country’s fauna poorly adapted to fight what is ostensibly new for them. While you could point the finger at us, some of the fallout of wildlife is also accidental.

Where a book on such a topic could have been sombre, judgemental, even heartbreaking, it reads with a passion for understanding and curiosity. Kolbert writes in serious but fluid prose and never once is boring. You can tell she’s a reporter first. And that interest carries forward the main thrust of the book. It also offers an insight of a possible world where we no longer exist—something of a comfort to me, not a fear. I’m talking many, many years from now.

Read this book! I guarantee you’ll walk out of the experience having learned something interesting about the world.

April Reviews

This month was a good one. I liked April’s book a lot.

After Dark by Haruki Murakami [4/5 stars]


From the opening lines, I am struck at the readability of this book. The prose guides the reader through with careful fluidity. We as the audience are addressed as an observer as if we’re watching a film. In fact, the way he describes scenes is through the lens of an imagined camera as it moves through the spaces in the book. It’s like we’re being watched while watching. It’s very self-aware and less jarring than it sounds. It works by giving the book a very cinematic feel. I often felt as though I was watching a translation of a film onto the page, the various scenes para-real, film-like.

Set in Tokyo, the book focuses on a cast of characters over the course of one night as the title indicates: after dark. They all have their own problems and backstories that develop as time moves on. What’s made clear are the divisions of reality that come to the fore in the night, inner darkness—violence, ill intent—that can hide in the pureness of day but is exposed at night. Like occupying a different world. There are some surreal elements as well which I enjoyed.

What I loved as well is the idea of people as both individuals but part of a whole, like cells in a body of the city. Very enjoyable stuff.

Also, of course we have Murakamisms in abundance: the quiet, unassuming protagonist, characters with serious/mysterious backstories, jazz, etc. No talking animals or weird sex scenes though.

The Iron Ghost by Jen Williams [4/5 stars]


This was plain and simple an improvement of the first book in the sequence of the Copper Cat: it tightens the focus of the book to one setting and the consequences that develop over the course of it. A surprising amount of stuff is covered over the course of this second volume which I’m uncertain if I liked or not. I experienced a bit of a lull in the middle but it was for the most part fun and inventive in just the right amount. I do wish that the antagonist was a.) not spoiled in the blurb (!!!!!!) and b.) a bit more fleshed out. Their defeat was fairly underwhelming, I have to admit. Otherwise, though, I was very pleased with how much better it was. Williams clearly knows how to build a world and make you care about the cast.

Also, I love how things fit together without relying too much of the previous book. It definitely deepens the experience by starting from the first book but I could easily see a new reader starting here with little difficulty.


Franny & Zooey by J.D. Salinger [4/5 stars]


A short story and novella concerning the Glass family focusing on the eponymous characters, respectively. I said in a earlier review of this but I felt like I was reading a play or the script for a film (that makes two books this time around!). This for me is more a treatise arguing for authenticity in life and spirit. The way the ideas develop mostly through prose, conversations between speakers that are out of sync with one another. The methods of communication was very naturalistic to me (although the use of italics felt overused in a lot of cases—also what’s up with Zooey’s rudeness to his mom? Man. Learn some respect, haha), characters sorting through problems in a believable way (and pace), hence why I thought film/play. The translation could be pretty easy, I think.

I don’t think it’s for everyone but man did I learn a thing or two from it, both as a writer and as a person. For a lot of people, Salinger might seem to didactic, in your face with the Lesson of the book but I genuinely felt a hardened of my spirit when I was done. I think I want to re-read Catcher now.

I’m also pleased to learn that the Glass family is a saga so I’ll jump into that next story when I can.

(Interestingly I caught the influence Salinger had on David Foster Wallace with the Glass family. It’s interesting to see the links between authors I think.)


The Diamond Age of Content

In Search of Lost Time

I have a serious tabbing issue. Not dabbing, tabbing*.


The tabbing problem. This isn’t even as bad as it has been but I’ve been on a pretty aggressive tab-reduction game and I forgot to document it as its worst so you’ll have to take this as evidence. (Also it’s cute that an earlier form of this piece is pictured here too.)

My issue is not easily tracked. It might be to do with focus but it has its roots in a more positive thing: data, information, excitement, etc. When they’re easily accessible I become so intrigued to investigate, to dive, explore, I end up with the tabbing travesty you see above.

I want to open up my avenues of interest rapidly and, not unlike a magpie, collect all the shiny things but never end up doing anything much with them.

That’s right: I’d rather open more tabs before looking at the content contained within the tabs already open.

I should note that I’m not saying we should close the internet. Far from it: I think I should be developing more complex systems in being able to engage with material in a good way rather than in a stressful way. When I think about the sheer multitude of things we have at our fingertips, though, it really astonishes me.

We live in a sort of Diamond Age of Content, with around 500 original scripted shows predicted this year, an increase from last year’s 455, for example, there’s a perspiration-worthy amount of material of interest. And that’s just TV. Think about the ways in which we can potentially amuse ourselves.

Our issue nowadays isn’t that we don’t have good enough content but rather that there’s so much more good stuff than time available to consume it all in. From books, TV, film, video games, podcasts, social media, and more, we can glut ourselves beyond the typical limits of satisfaction.

This is particularly startling when you consider that we only have a certain number of time per day, one hundred blocks, to be precise, and a limited overall number of blocks in our lifetime. That means how you spend them counts. Not so easy when everything is fighting for your attention. How many times in a week can you count someone saying “oh you have to watch/read/listen to this?” or seen an advert of something of interest? I’ll wait.

It bothers me a lot, which is part of a wider way of thought that’s led to the tabbing. But this is only at my laptop and while I spend a lot of time there, it’s not the only place I consume content.

Note: this is just an exercise in spending time in leisure effectively which means I’m omitting other things like eating or travelling.

Time Divided

The way I think I (unevenly) carve types of time—ways to spend time on a given activity. For example, reading. You could read a book—which can be read physically, digitally, or in audio—or an article, which could be a magazine, newspaper, on Wikipedia, etc.

Part of effective time use for reading time is picking one activity and doing it with some degree of depth. So I’ll read that NYT piece over bits of Infinite Jest or vice versa. I want to read both but if I flit between the two mercilessly then I get a great deal less reading done while also wasting time. One solution to deal with this inaction is to open the tab of the article(s), save it for later. Only, this has the potential to continue ad infinitum, especially when scrolling my newsfeed.

Infinite Jest or the New York Times? 

Listening time: Now consider other content, such as podcasts. There are so many podcasts of interest that I want to listen to. At the same time, however, several songs are buzzing in my head and are begging to be listened to and I can’t focus on the spoken words. If I don’t indulge then I’ll think about the music and not listen to the podcast. Of course I can’t do both and whatever I’ll pick will consume a significant portion of time. That’s in a good scenario. Often, I’ll just be so intrigued by the choice of music or podcasts on show that I won’t even listen to anything. I’ll just open the tabs on YouTube or click subscribe on my podcatcher.

 The Daily or Arctic Monkeys?

Watching time: All the TV, films released all the time, YouTube vids.

Brooklyn or Brooklyn Nine Nine? 

TV is so fucking good and there’s so much of it. When someone recommends me a show and it has an excess of five seasons I sigh because there’s just so much of it ahead. That might fill someone’s heart with joy, especially if you love the show. But I also think of it in terms of lost time. I’m a very picky watcher and I want to invest my time wisely. What if it isn’t for me and is instead detracted time from a show that does?

There are other things such as, I dunno, hobbies: games, playing an instrument, drawing, writing books (or these essays). Out of those I have to pick one, then do that thing for a set time.

Let’s not even talk about social media and what you can do with it. No wonder people call it the attention economy, things jumping for your attention and eating into your time.

That was fairly exhaustive because I like to make you work as a reader. In all seriousness though, what I hope to get at is to devise a (limited) system of pickiness as an entry point to cut through the fat.

What I Want From Content

You can’t save time like money, store it up and take it all at once snuggled under a pillow fort on a dreary day. At best you can economise by being selective. With it being limited, you want to invest it well with at least equal returns.

For such a selection process I might need to be a little more stringent than in the past and make harder choices, create a good way of judging if it’s worth the time. The things of interest should be least one of the following:

a.) educational: enhances existing or generates new knowledge.

b.) fun/pleasurable: sustains or increases pleasure.

[c.) cohere with certain values I possess]

Note: I’ve put c.) in brackets because I think that this selection criteria might not be within other people’s selection process. c.) is interesting, though, mostly because it can be overruled by either a or b (or both) so it’s really a third possibility. For example, if I don’t agree with the message of something, it will serve as educational.  I’ll explain a bit more but watch as someone proves me wrong.

What values am I talking about? The biggest one is: well-developed characters from many walks of life—or typically what we mean when we say “diverse fiction”. That’s well-developed characters including ones we see less of: women, “POC”** characters, characters who are non-heterosexual, etc. All of these needs also to not defined by such things.

So: a character (see: likes, dislikes, merits and flaws) who is gay; not the gay character who is inserted to serve some illusory sense of inclusion and representation. And there’s a correct execution for this as well.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine has a great example of being aware of social issues but weaves them intricately into the tapestry of the show’s reality. Read on ahead and see some of the reasons why I enjoy it a lot. Again, though, it need not have these things to be entertaining but it’s nice to consider. I’d take one well-written black character than 25 shoddy stereotypes.

Anyway. It seems that the values of TV and film tend to reflect bankable trends opposed to any other values. This is usually because risk is not particularly financially viable. This isn’t the entire picture, true, but it is a strong guiding principle.

The common perception is that films in particular are made with the intention of making a well-selling piece before a well-told piece. Which is not to say that something that sells well isn’t well told, but films are a business and I suppose protecting those interests come first. There is a nexus between them, a sweet spot of good enough for both investors and audiences. It’s why franchises are huge right about now***.

An issue you might run into here is that a degree of variety is lost. Now, we have to stop here for a sec because this seems to contradict my central point of narrowing down how to spend to time. But I think it’s a worthwhile pursuit in having a variety of things to hold one’s interests.

For example, I was a little disappointed by Doctor Strange, which on one hand introduced newer elements to the exhaustive list of films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). This, however, was packaged in a fairly formulaic way. Not saying that formula is necessarily a problem, especially if the story is told well, but when it echoes a previous film in the same universe too sharply (Iron Man), in essence you could at best only derive an equal amount of pleasure from it.

But I kind of get it: it’s doing something different and if it’s too left-field then their wider ambitions will fall to the wayside. Film-making is more complicated than just a couple of people with a vision. There are lots of other factors (studios, investors, etc) which in some way dictate the shape of the finished product. But let’s move on.

So to summarise, I want my stuff to be varied on top of either being educational or pleasurable. This isn’t an extra letter in my list because it doesn’t target a specific medium as opposed to collectives. I want the types of books to be varied as opposed to one piece of thing with twenty different genres contained within, for example.

Now that that’s cleared up, I have to address the plenitude. The selection criteria must already apply in some capacity to the stuff that I’m foaming at the mouth over. Put simply: I have to say no to the new stuff. This sounds simple but is still somewhat tricky.

Time Regained: Saying No

Okay, so the tabbing issue can be summarised as such: I’ve seen something interesting and might not have the time to look at it, so I open a new tab with the intention of revisiting it at a later point.

Part of the problem is that newer interesting things appear and I open them up in a new tab as well. Eventually: tab-lock. The intention is to revisit but with every passing day the chances to revisit in a timely manner begin to dwindle. Often, the things I leave open aren’t half as interesting as I might have thought they’d be so it seems like a waste of time overall.

This is a good place to put in a notion of resistance. Maybe a time-limit: if I don’t revisit it in under say three days then it’s getting axed. I’m only going to stress myself out in spending several days clearing tabs. Eliminating sooner will help me guide my thinking towards actually beneficial content. I shit you not that to clear the tabs I would need about 3-5 complete days. Essays, articles, video features, walkthroughs … a lot of stuff that I don’t ever revisit for months at a time. It’s exhausting and it’s slowing my browser down.

It’s not all been bad though. I’ve been using The Great Suspender**** recently and it’s been an interesting extension for me. (It’s out now for Firefox as well as an add-on so if you want to give it a go, I say proceed.) I thought it would have been an enabler to my awful tabbing but it’s been a boon … to an extent.  It’s made me carefully consider what I find interesting to be really interesting.

When I do my tab cleanse every 3-6 months, I often leave the experience drained and not having gained much. But when they’re all suspended, a glance at the title, reloading the page reveals I’m not as interested in it at present as when I first viewed it. It’s helped in dropping the tabbage by maybe a few percent which is small but significant. This is an option but not the solution. I’ll definitely need to develop more defences against my problem but that’s do with my wiring–something to grow out of. At the very least, I could bookmark some of them for the future.


The way this works is that you can set a time limit for how long a tab is inactive before it is suspended, like 1 hour, for example. You can also suspend and not suspend at will. I think the intention of this is to speed up the browser but I’ve been doing it as a tab killer. I’m sure that there are extensions that fit that need better, but that’s something to explore later on.

For other content I should do one of two things: 1.) Say no and 2.) apply the one episode rule. I can’t possibly watch everything suggested so some things I will need to pass up on. That’s not an easy decision to make but it needs to happen for peace of mind. I don’t have to consume anything. “I have to watch this show.” Nay, I say. I reject it!

A softer approach to decide if I can stomach spending more blocks of time on something will be through the one episode rule.

I’ve been considering the active implementation of this for a while. I say one episode because that should be the requisite amount of time to see if this this thing has piqued my interest. More broadly, though, it’s a way of thinking that is not exclusive to episodic content.

So the rule: If it grabs me within the first episode, I’ll keep watching. If not, drop it. It took me too long to get to this point. I stopped watching House of Cards about half a year ago during season 2. I realised too late that I hated the world and characters. The writing’s good but the aggressive amorality was wearing me down more than it was enthusing me: I had no-one to root for, essentially. So I stopped. Now I can watch other things in its place. Like *goes quiet* anime.

Same goes for books: I used to stick it out to the end even if it was mostly boring. But recently I’ve been using the library pretty heavily (my wallet is sickly). What it gives me is a better range of choice without the extra “but I paid money for this” which I guess keeps me reading something that I don’t like.

If it doesn’t work for you, don’t suffer through it. Especially if, like me, a fear of yours is wasted time. Move on to others; your to-read/watch list is waiting for you to make a dent in it. This isn’t to say stop after the first line. I know within 100 pages whether or not I’ll like a book. Often I stop well before then.

A good question to raise here is if the above stated criteria can overrule the one episode rule, to which I answer: I suppose so. If a book isn’t particularly pleasurable but is pretty educational then sticking with it is not such a wasted effort. At least then you walk away with something—you have something to show for your efforts. You need to approach this with some judgement; I can’t speak to your specific needs.

But if you walk away with nothing then what’s the point of engaging with it at all? You read for a reason that isn’t suffering, I assume? Just to make it crystal clear, here’s an example: if I don’t a certain philosophy (Ayn Rand’s, for example) when reading it but had never known about it before in-depth then that’s a worthwhile experience. I’ve learnt something new.

In saying all of this, there’s something that’s been neglected: before any of the above can happen, I’ll have to weigh the newer content with the existing stuff I want to get into/have already invested time into. For me, I would say that my pre-existing list takes precedence over newer content. I would say at a rate of at least two items on my existing list need to be engaged with before introducing new things into the fold. I think I can be pretty strict with this for myself. So finish several books before buying/renting new ones.

For time division, I’ve found that having specific times of day helps guide the content towards meaningful consumption instead of mass hording. I think the issue for me is the plenitude of it all isn’t ordered in a way that’s useful for me. It might be ordered by genre but we’re talking about music and podcasts fighting for your attention alongside books, TV, etc. I’ve found that giving them their own space helps.

So, I’ll try my best to start my day by reading at least 20 pages of a book at a time. Then after I might go through social media and see an article of interest and read that. The day at large I have to choose and shape it around what’s happening but the option to head outside for an extended period of time usually puts a podcast in the driver’s seat, as they work better listened-to at one time as opposed to in bits.

When my podcasts of choice have finished, then move to music. Inverse where desired. The push towards this is to create corners/boundaries where there aren’t any. I know what I like and, coupled with an elimination process means that there’s a high chance I will actually do it. For watching media, after the book, YouTube would be a good to watch, which leaves the evening free for either a film or a TV show. If I pick one on one day, the other must follow on the next. TV show one day, film the next. That way I can get through content sort of in tandem.

Morning: Read books (at least 20 pages); social media for articles specifically; YouTube (1 video)

Afternoon: Podcast > music

Evening: TV or film (pick one).

And I think … that’s a post. To summarise: To get over the tabbing issue, I’ll need to be strict and review whether or not opening up a new tab will be worth my while or an addition to the problem. For new content, consider the one-episode rule. That usually gives me enough of an impression to see if I want to continue. Finally, if I make the consumption slightly more structured then I think I can tackle it effectively. This is by no means a holistic approach, but it’s a nice start. After a trial run I might do a reflective post to assess its effectiveness and change or develop it as appropriate.

*first—and last—dabbing joke/reference
**As someone who fits under the umbrella of BAME/POC, I’m not actually fond of such terms. However, it’s commonly understood and it’s a simple catch-all; I’m not inventive enough to come up with an equivalent. Also, I can swallow my ego for twenty minutes when there are wider social issues at play here. My concerns surrounding this are pretty nuanced and not all coherent but I might write about this in the distant future. No promises though. Thanks for checking in but scroll back up for the main action you sweet silly person you.
***Thanks, Marvel, though you are most certainly not the cause, you’re definitely part of the problem. In saying that, though, I just gobble up your shit so who’s the real chump? In seriousness, what Marvel has done is interesting to analyse as it’s idiosyncratic of modern cinema: a film that’s familiar in the sense that we know what type of film it is, but it does the familiar in a well-enough executed way that audiences enjoy. It makes a tonne of cash, critics love it. The studios are then given essentially free-licence to build a franchise, which is in its own right is quite cool: doing a big connected universe of content for a slightly more fringe slice of pop culture. Marvel’s success pushed its comic book rivals DC to start creating a shared universe as well. No doubt, this is what prompted the Star Wars extended universe to happen. I mean, you look at the billion that Rogue One made worldwide … Star Wars is going nowhere. And neither are franchises. It leads me to wonder what the next big thing is after comic book related media stops, or at least cools down, in the next decade or so. Also, a quick point is that Marvel are by no means the first to do a franchise but they are the biggest and most successful. So.
****This is no way sponsored content. A friend recommended it to me is all.

March Reviews

Last month was a slower month than February despite the fact it was longer? I suppose it happens. Here’s what I’ve been reading!

The Copper Promise by Jen Williams [3/5 stars]


Don’t let that star rating deter you. This book is a lot of fun. So much so, that I borrowed its sequel from the library long before I’d even finished this one. So why didn’t it get top marks?

Let’s go back a bit: The Copper Promise was initially a short story about a group of individuals on an adventure into an ancient citadel and it … shows. Well, the book works kind of fine, but it doesn’t hang together as well as you might hope. The through-line of a continuous story across the four parts (or novellas) was nice for a sense of some continuity but some threads were more tenuously connected than others. Because of that, some things didn’t need to happen whatsoever.

Also, sadly the focus on adventure meant they flitted across the book’s world meant that I couldn’t soak into much of its locales in depth, or appreciate certain events that happened, which is a shame because there are flourishes of some really cool stuff that would have been heavy-hitting had there been more careful build up. The focus is more of the world’s history which is well-drawn. Place needn’t be your number one, especially if you don’t have a fixed one in place, but I wish there was more anchoring. They seemed to be in one place for only a tiny amount of time, which was a shame. What I’m saying is that having more development of the places they were going would have made it better.

Also, there are a surprising amount of unnecessary POVs (one-time characters who had zero bearing on the plot, for example).

But—and this a big but—the other aspects are an utter delight. Even when the story was slowing down to weird side streets and avenues, the writing was breezy and unobtrusive. Details were pared down and chapters were short, which made it quick to get through, although I did feel its size towards the end. And Bezcavar. And the griffins. Wydrin, and having one of the main cast be gay (and it not define who they were!)—all really cool!

Overall, it was a fun ride and I’m currently reading its sequel which structure-wise is so far improved upon the major gripes I had with its predecessor. You’ll hear about it soon enough.

Economics by James Forder (Beginners Guides) [3/5 stars]

I’ll confess my disappointment.

What I thought I was getting: an accessible introduction to economics for the uninitiated. What I got: was a strikingly obscure one in places. This is not to say that there weren’t lucid moments—quite the opposite. But Forder had a habit of running away with a long train of abstraction that didn’t do well for my understanding. Difficult subjects can be explained well and points of this book were not. It definitely could have benefited from more practical examples to illustrate points more clearly, for that is when I could understand Forder’s presentation of ideas.

Despite that, I did learn a few things about economics and what it can and can’t do. Also, a huge amount of respect for his critique of economic and, to a larger extent, academic “priesthood” (or elitism). It had me grinning. I do feel slightly more confident in exploring economics but sadly not as much as the sweet, sweet promise that the book offered.

New Year’s Reflections: Redux (Growth)


It’s been a while! I realise I’ve had an extended absence but hopefully this post will be the first offering of many.

A not-so-good month has meant a not-so-good blog. It hasn’t been all dark—I’ve seen friends, done a few cool things—but it has been fairly trying more often.

I started this thing in earnest and I posted every week for about five weeks. Then I made this post and things went very quickly south. March, for better or worse, has slipped past me with little sound. It’s not that I haven’t been making content in that time, I’ve just been struggling quite a bit. This post will serve as my return and maybe elucidate future steps.

What’s new is that I have topics for the coming few weeks that I’ll work as diligently as possible to release. My aim is to have a new essay out by the end of the week, either before or alongside March’s review round-up. Failing that, it should definitely be out by next week. Then we’ll continue weekly for a bit.

Next, I’ve decided to discontinue Song of the Week. It’s an unsurprising development considering the erratic posting. It was pretty unpopular and generally a lot more stressful than I would have initially thought it to be. It’s sad, I know, but it might be good news in disguise. To be clear: This is not to say that music is forever gone from The Singing Lights. I plan to continue to talk about it in some form. Figuring out a sustainable way to write about it will be a focus of the coming weeks and months. The likely look for the future of music would probably be something in a similar vein to the review round-up. I’ll leave the page with the links on if anyone wants to revisit it.

I’m working on expanding the content range of the site as well. What this will be I’m going to have to be a bit coy about while it takes shape but I’ll reveal all in due time.

Now I want to revisit what I said in that New Year’s post and see how I’m  doing.

I want to create more. I’ve just explained my blog stuff but because of this strange month everything I’ve done has suffered. I’m working on climbing back from this faltering. For the short stories I wanted to write: they’re taking shape and should be ready by their deadlines (one of which is Sunday). As for drawing and guitar-playing: I am working more diligently to cultivate habits. It’s a process.

I’m going to plug an extension into this and state that I want to write at least 150,000 words (of fiction) by year’s end. I usually do my dues of Camp NaNoWriMo in July and NaNoWriMo in November but I am going to up my word count by 40k by doing April’s Camp NaNo. I’m doing two short stories of about 4,500 words a piece so I should make it up fairly easily if I’m diligent (and focused). I haven’t planned my writing year but by no means are April, July, or November the only months where I’ll do big writing blocks. But you have to build first so I’ll start with the 150k per annum and do more.

I want a job. Still waiting on this front, I’m afraid. It takes time. Working on my applications, keeping my ear to the street for new ones has been my routine. Trying to stay optimistic with mixed results. A work (ha) in process.

I want to read more non-fiction. This one’s going well. I’ve been picking up topics of interest every month which is cool but what I might start doing come the second half of the year is deeper learning of ideas I picked up in the beginning half. I’ll have a think about this.

No updates on my feeling of this Big Thing but whatever, we still have time.

There are new goals that I’ve set in the time since as well.

I want to finish Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace (DFW). Last week or so I got to page 700 of the nearly 1100 page Infinite Jest. I started the book in the summer of 2015 and it’s been slow going until recently. I want to finish the book before year’s end. I think this is perfectly achievable.

I don’t know if this is because I’m about 60% of the way through the book but it seems more readable now, which leads me to wonder if I’m just getting used to it or DFW is starting to draw elements together a little more cohesively—I’m starting to see how it all fits? I suppose we’ll soon see. This book will take at least an essay to unpack (you can tell because it’s a whole goal of its own unlike literally any other book I’ve read). Expect this essay by 2018.

Explore more places. I had vague plans in university to do a bit of a tour of Britain—one on my own, one with friends—but they sadly never came to fruition. Of course, at this present moment, budgetary constraints are a thing but I might just draw up a plan of places to go to ahead of time so that when I get a reliable income I can just go. The good news is that this will inevitably result in new content as well.

How have your New Year’s goals been going? Sometimes it’s good to check back on them and see what’s really achievable. The temptation is to set unrealistic goals but after a few weeks even it becomes clear they can’t be achieved—without at least some significant sacrifice. It’s no shame in revising what you want to do. Maybe you wanted to write 30k every month and you realised now, on the dying days of March that that is not a reality as you stare at only a few thousand words. First of all, that’s still awesome you’ve got those words out, but also revising that goal would be not be the end of the world. In fact, I see it as potential for improvement. I think these goals are as good as you can make them and if you can’t make them, change them. Don’t quit. Personal development is a long, sometimes laborious, affair, but being aware of the difficulties of life means you can still shape it around everything else. That’s what I’m trying to do. Start small, and build. To quote one of my favourite lines in music: “My moves are slow, but soon they’ll know.”

Currently reading: The Copper Promise by Jen Williams, Economics (A Beginner’s Guide) by James Forder. (You’ll hear about these soon.)

Currently listening to: Semper Femina by Laura Marling, The Daily from the New York Times, The Book Riot Podcast, and Skylines from CityMetric (which is an off-shoot of the New Statesman).


Review Roundup: February

It’s World Book Day! What better way to celebrate it than to review the ones I’ve read recently. Here’s what I read in February.

The Power by Naomi Alderman [3/5 stars]32763477

So the concept of this book was an interesting one to me. In short, a role reversal: what if women had the power instead of men? Power being quite literal. Imagine a parallel earth in the present day, but there’s been a latent mutation that starts to manifest in young women in the form of electricity that can be shot from their hands. Older women can’t generate it naturally but can use it if a young woman awakens it in them. This is our setting.

What happens is the unravelling of one social order and the rise of women’s rebellion across the globe, them taking the power. Are you seeing it? It’s allegory. There are four main (and a couple of others off the top of my head) perspectives that act as the observers of the world. Beyond that, though, there’s not much to say about them. They exist on linear axes without any clearly definable character development. This is disappointing and so the book misses out on some of its potential emotive beats: I didn’t massively care for them a great deal.

What we do have, however is some very taught writing and an interesting concept. There’s also a lot of violence (unsurprising) and hoo boy quite a bit of rape as well. When you remove the electrical powers and invert the genders, you’re looking into the mirror of our world which makes it that much more bone-chilling. The allegory is cleverly told but it has, sad to say, not amazing characters. Overall, a good, but not great, book.

On Liberty by Shami Chakrabarti [3/5 stars]


I should not be bored by the discussion of basic civil liberties. I repeat: I should not be bored by the discussion of basic civil liberties. And yet, in 140 pages, I was. What? In this book we get some pretty surprising revelations about surveillance in relation to the 9/11 attacks. This is stuff that directly affects our civil liberties (and is part of a pantheon of material I’m using as research for my book) and yet it was a bitingly dull read. I’m sorry to say those words but the purpose of the book genuinely suffered from the writing. Dry, lawyer-like writing, peppered with some personal stories that tie in with her points. This should have taken me a sitting to read, but it took days instead.

The Future of the Mind by Michio Kaku [3.75/5 stars]


I imagine Michio Kaku is fun at parties. He strikes me as a warm paternal figure with lots of knowledge of cool things and a way of telling good stories about big ideas that are a lot of fun. This is what this book is, in short. For the most part, it’s a lot of speculation. Pills that make you smarter? Merging with machines? An emotional internet … eh maybe. This is heart of a the book: a long series of “this could happen with the development of neuroscience … but not yet”, but that’s alright, that’s what I was kind of looking for.

There’s some light science here that acts as sort of crash course for the layperson—moi—so it’s perfect for the average reader to follow along, learn a thing or two. What sets it apart from being “merely” light and fun is the interweaving of philosophical and scientific pondering that left me with stuff to chew on. It’s not a massively deep book that richly explores concepts, but rather lots of ideas in accessible broad brushstrokes. Also, I was generally surprised and dismayed at how lenient he was towards the MKUltra project. I suppose it’s not the right place to moralise but he spoke about them as if they were near-harmless experiments.

Overall, though, it’s a fun book for someone who wants to go on a speculative and informative journey.

Neuromancer by William Gibson [4/5 stars]



“The sky above the port was the colour of television, tuned to a dead channel.”

Who can top one of the slickest, vaguest writer in literary history? Very few. Pop culture of the last thirty or so years owes a great debt to Gibson. Just look at The Matrix and Ghost in the Shell. We might not have them were it not for Neuromancer. Both of those form a significant portion of our culture, not just in sci-fi society rooms underneath university buildings.

What Gibson lacks in terms of character depth, and clarity, he makes up for sheer originality, which means I’m often torn. I want to like the characters and the plot but half the time I can’t even understand what’s happening. A girl with implanted sunglasses and retractable nails? Using headsets to jack into the internet? Intelligent AIs? Sure, sign me up.

The plot progression barely registered for me so I felt a bit dim, but in general it was written like someone on a drug high, with shades of clarity and obscurity in alternating parts. This feels deliberate as it follows only our main character Case, who is a drug addict, from a limited third-person perspective. Unfortunately, that’s what makes it kind of suffer as well. There is a great deal of complexity about human motivation as well as the integration of technology and consciousness but the depth is missed with the prose. I had to read up on it so I was absolutely clear what I had just read. I imagine it’s one of those reads that becomes greatly improved with repeat visits (like Ancillary Justice) but boy, for such a short book it makes you really work for it. Super Cool (note the capital C) world and ideas. Not so sure about the style.

An extra star for being way, way ahead of its time.

Stone Arabia by Dana Spiotta [4/5 stars]


Another month, another Dana Spiotta book.

I don’t know if this is a problem that all of her books face—I have read exactly 50% of them now—but the beginning of this is cluttered. Packed thickly with details of the world we’re to explore, parentheses and seeming tangents, it’s almost off-putting. But then things calm down. The narrative presses on, alternating between first- and third-person, as well as in a form of a sort of metafiction. This is less gimmicky and off-putting than it sounds. Put simply, there are three layers to how the narrative unfolds: the third-person perspective of Denise, our protagonist; her first-person retelling (and remembering of the events of her recent past) which occupies the bulk of the book; and The Chronicles of her brother, Nik, a fictional telling of his life.

Each of the narratives fulfil a specific purpose. The book is about mortality and ponders its many associations like the passage of time, memory, and permanence. There are a sometimes very haunting moments in the book that explore what happens to us when we age, especially through the lens of memory and its disappearance; Denise trying to remember an actress’ name cut a bit too close to my life. It’s a scary thing, forgetting, like a piece of you is disappearing that seemed so crucial, never before to shift. Of course, mortality is described across three crucial points: old age, youth, and the middle ages through Denise, in her 40s, her 20-something daughter, and her ailing mother. The parts on memory are some of the best writing I’ve ever read. It’s very powerful stuff.

On top of that there are musings on how realities can be presented—and distorted—and how we normalise them. Spiotta chooses television cycles. Denise obsessively consumes news and tragedies, and she records her strange and visceral reactions to it.

Almost in direct contrast to this her brother Nik who is a down-on-his-luck, but prolific, musician. He never really had a professional career but continues to produce music for the benefit of a tiny few, mostly family.

So you see there’s a lot to unpack here. The book is barely over 200 pages long and the deceptively simple prose and small size would lead you to believe that it’s a light read. It’s anything but. It’s very astute and unique, empathetic without being showy: the characters feel less charactery—although Nik kind of absorbs that vibe single-handedly—and more like people. It has a lot of interesting things to say in relationship to time and age.

I will say, however, that I’m not sure I understand some of the motivations of Denise, especially in the last third. Not only that, but I wish there was more on the relationship between Denise and her daughter. There was some but I wish there was something a bit more.

Busy month! Currently I’m reading Infinite Jest and a book on economics.